Chp: Maria's Mother in Purgatory
October 4 1949
After so long, I saw my mother. She was amidst the flames of Purgatory. I had never seen her in the flames. I cried out. I was unable to repress the cry, which I later justified to Marta with an excuse so as not to disturb her.
My mother was no longer so obscure, grayish, hard-faced, and hostile to the All and everyone, as I had seen her in the first three months after her death, when, though I entreated her, she did not want to turn to God.... Nor was she dull and gloomy, almost frightened, as I had see her in the following years. She was beautiful, rejuvenated, and serene. She looked like a bride in her gown--no longer gray, but white, extremely white. She came out of the flames, from her groin upwards.
I spoke to her and asked, "Are you still there, Mother? And yet I prayed so much to shorten your expiation and had prayer offered. This morning, for the sixth anniversary, I received Holy Communion for you. And you are still there!"
Cheerful and festive, she replied, "I am here, but for only a short while now. I know you have prayed and had prayer offered. This morning I took a big step towards peace. I thank you and the nun who prayed for me. I will repay you later... Soon. In a little while I will be finished with purgation. I have already purified the sins of the mind... My proud head.... Then those of the heart... My acts of selfishness... They were the most serious. I am now expiating those of the lower part. But they are trifle compared to others."
[NOTE: You purge the serious ones first]
"But when I saw you so obscure and hostile... you did not want to turn to Heaven...."
"Ah! I was haughty... To humble myself? I didn't want to. Then pride came down."
"And when you were so sad?"
"I was still attached to earthly affections. And you know it was not a good attachment... But I already understood. I was sad for that reason. Because I understood, now that there was no longer any sin of pride, that I had loved God in the wrong way, wanting Him to be my servant, and you, too..."
"Don't think about it any more, Mother. It's over now."
"Yes, it's over. And if I am like this, I thank you. It's because of you that I'm like this. Your sacrifice... It obtained purgatory for me and, in short while, peace."
"1950?" [NOTE: This conversation is taking place October 1949]
"Even before! Before! Soon!"
"Then there will be no need to pray for you."
"Pray just the same as if I were here. There are so many souls, of all kinds, and many souls of mothers, forgotten. One must love and think of all. Now I know. You are able to think of all, love all. I now know this, too, and now understand that it is right. Now I no longer try to sketch out [the exact words] the process for God. Now I say that it is right..."
"Pray for me then."
"Ah! I thought of you before. See how I have kept the house for you. You know, eh? But I will now pray for your soul and for you either to be happy or to come with me."
"And Dad? Where is Dad?"
"Still? And yet he was good. He died as a Christian, with resignation."
"More than I. But he's here. God judges differently from the way we do. A way entirely his own..."
"How can Dad still be there?"
"Ah! I felt bad, for I had hoped for some time that he was already in Heaven.
"And Marta's mother? You know, Marta..."
"Yes, yes. Now I know what Marta is. Before... My character... Marta's mother has been out of here for a long time."
"And the mother of my friend Eroma Antonini? You know..."
"I know. We know everything. Those of us in Purgatory. Not so well as saints. But we know. When I was coming down here, she was leaving..."
I saw the tongue-like flickering flames, and they brought me pain. I asked, "Do you suffer a lot from that fire?"
"Now I don't. Now there is another, stronger one which almost keeps me from feeling this one. And, what's more... that other fire makes you want to suffer. And now the suffering doesn't hurt. I never wanted to suffer... You know..."
"You are beautiful, Mother, now. You are the way I wanted you to be."
"If I am like this I owe it to you. Ah! How many things you understand when you're here. The more you get purified of pride and selfishness, the more you understand. I had so much of them..."
"Don't think about them any more."
"I must think about it... Good bye, Maria..."
"Good bye, Mother. Come soon to take me..."
"When God wills..."
I wanted to record this. It contains teachings. God punishes first the sins of the mind, then of the heart, and finally the weaknesses of the flesh. One must pray for those abandoned in Purgatory as if they were your relatives; the judgment of God is very different from ours; those in Purgatory understand what they did not understand during life because they were filled with themselves.
Aside from my affliction over Dad... I am happy to have seen her so serene--indeed, joyful. Poor Mother!
Peace be with you always
Last edited by Poem on Fri Aug 13, 2010 8:05 am; edited 1 time in total