Notebook 1945-50
Chapter: Words For A Confused Soul
Page: 117
December 2, 1945
For E.F.,
from Jeremiah 31:21-22
The Lord says: To have severe words where one would like to have only love is a painful thing. But I said, 'It is love not to allow deviations to occur in justice.'
"Listen, then. When humanity turns you into castaways-external humanity, meaning that of your neighbor, or internal humanity, meaning your own-to come back to the surface, to the shore, to salvation, there is no alternative but to get out of the treacherous, raging sea, in the grasp of contrary winds. How? By isolating oneself. Isolation provides a way to understand God and discern good and evil; in isolation one can separate what is good from what is not good--in short, it means working and working on oneself. Dissipation is never good. It is always disorder. Disorder never has God with it.
"How can you isolate yourself? The way the sailor does in times of heavy storms-that is, in a peaceful bay. Is it off the course you charted? It does not matter. Anyhow, it has not been established that the course you charted was good. You said it was. And you followed it, not looking at the compass, but your own inclination, in such fashion that you left port in bad condition from the very start and were set back on course by more than one pilot. And you are going farther and farther off course wanting to follow your crazy needle. Separate yourself from the world and from the voices of the world to listen to God. What value have you attached to the advice of those speaking in my Name? Don't you know that God is on the lips of his servants? And what value did you give to what was handed to you in my Name? One, two, three, a thousand advisors. Babel. One two, three acts of disobedience. Rebellion. It is useless to call for help if afterwards one does not listen to the voice! Go back, then, to the first advice. Reflect and provide a remedy, if you can. But you cannot any longer. Because it is too late. And you are ruining yourself. You go wandering about looking for comfort. But if they are not of the sort your will desires, you leave them aside. And so? Why do you disobey Me? What advice did Father Migliorini give you from the outset? You don't even remember any more, and you make him uneasy and yourself uneasy, to no end. What is found in my words? Are you unable to read them? As long as you fail to read the signs and make more mistakes, even when I supply providential remedies for the foolish sending of letters, almost as if seeking vocations is like seeking merchandise, you proceed. But my words! My words!
"Isolate yourself. Cut off relations! Don't deceive yourself. Impose silence concerning yourself, around yourself, in yourself. Let the wind fall. And then, humbled and subject, obedient, and patient, start all over again, by other routes. Do you want to be a victim? Break yourself. Obedience lasts even after the dissolution of vows. Obedience to Me. If the Work were to fail definitively, my Heart, yours, and that of others would suffer there- from, but your soul would benefit if you are able to turn this torture into sanctification. Bend your soul. Bend it. It will sprout stronger wings. You have freedom to know how to use it. Manage to be patient so as to be able to conclude, and heroic to be able to humble yourself. If need be, you shall purify yourself in another Order, or even-and it is not a life less pleasing to God-in the secrecy of a house, in the world.
"May the Light be with you, confused soul."
Peace be with you always
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