Chp: Miracle of Regaining Strength
"What you wrote on January 30 might spur the distrustful to give preference to their ifs, ands, and buts. I shall respond for you. You wrote,'...When I see that way, the strength of my body, and especially my heart, undergoes great dispersion.'
"There will certainly be 'doctors of the impossible' who say, 'Here is the proof that what is happening is human, for the supernatural always gives strength and never weakness.'
"Let them explain to Me, then, why the great ecstatics--after an ecstasy in which they have surpassed human powers, abolishing pain, the weight of matter, the consequences of internal wounds, and imposing hemorrhages and rejoicing in a happiness which makes them even physically attractive--as soon as the ecstasy ceases, remain swooning on the ground in such fashion as to make one think their souls have departed from them.
"Let them also explain to Me why--after a few hours of most atrocious agony which repeats my own, as is that of my servant Theresa, as were the agonies of my holy Gemma and of many other spirits whom my love and their love rendered worthy to live out my Passion--they regain or regained a strength and physical equilibrium which the healthiest people lack.
"I am the Master of life and death, of health and illnesses. I use my servants in the ways I want to, as I would use a delicate thread placed in my hand as a plaything.
"The miracle in you--one of the miracles--resides in this: the fact that you, in the physical state you are in--a state which is miraculous in its duration--can enter into that blessedness without dying from it, transported into it while you are in a prostration which in others would impede even the most rudimentary thoughts. The miracle lies in the vitality which flows back into you in those hours, as it flows back in the hours when you write down my dictations or those of the other spirits who bring you their heavenly words. The miracle resides in regaining strength at once--after the joy has consumed within you that vestige of vitality you have left--in order to write.
"But I transfuse that vitality into you. It is like blood entering your exhausted veins from Me; it is as when a wave overflows a riverbank and floods it, and that bank continues to be inundated as long as it is soaked by the wave and then remains dry again until a new wave comes, just as it is similar to an operation which empties you of my blood until a new transfusion is made.
"On your own you are nothing. You are a poor being in agony who survive because I will it, for my purposes; you are a poor creature who have worth exclusively because of your love. You have no other merits. Only love and the desire to be the occasion for other instances of love for your God--it is always love, then. This is what justifies your existence and my benignity in preserving your life, whereas in human terms you should have been consummated in death some time ago.
"Your feeling all over again like a 'rag,' as you say, after I have ceased to take you with Me into the fields of contemplation or to speak to you, is the proof I give you and others that everything which is happening is exclusively through my will. And if someone thinks in human terms that with the same will and love I could cure you and that it would be the best proof of love and will, I reply that I have always preserved lives of my servants as long as I have considered that their mission ought to continue, but I have never given them a happy life in a human sense because missions are carried out in and with pain, and my servants, moreover, have only one desire, like my own: "To suffer in order to redeem."
"Do not say, 'dispersion of strength,' then. Say, 'After the goodness of Jesus annuls me in my condition as a sick person, for his purposes and my joy, I go back to being what his goodness has granted that I be: a woman crucified in and for his love.'
"And now go forward in obedience and love."
Peace be with you always